Humor in Every Way

Today, I was pleasantly suprised.

At my school, there are several new buildings being built, two of which are directly in front of the library. I was just casually looking onto the construction area this afternoon on my way back from the library when something caught my attention. At first I thought I was mistaken, so I walked around the construction area (staying on my side of the fence, of coarse). And there it was, no mistaking it: one of the construction workers had spray painted a smiley face onto a red metal barrel. I laughed pretty hard when I realized my assumption was correct. The same white paint was used to identify almost everything on the site, which is why at first I didn't believe what I was seeing. But... just goes to show you, there's always humor in the oddest places.

Lots of Things

Last night, I finished reading I, Q. I've got to tell you, if you're a trekkie and you like Q, read this book. It's about the end of the universe as told by Q. He keeps true to his trickster nature throughout the entire novel. Picard, Data, Q, Q's wife, little q, random people from various parts of the multiverse, the Q Continuum's sworn enemys, the M Continuum, they're all in this wonderful book. It was amazing. I loved every minute of it.

So now I'm moving on to a new book. The Elfstones of Shannara, Terry Brooks' sequal to his amazing Sword of Shannara. So far, I'm confused. But that's the way he likes it. The books never seem to have any connection with each other until you're halfway through it. But he's a good author, so that makes up for it.

I have also noticed that I am the ONLY person who seems to have an interest in watching popcorn pop. When I clicked on it, my name was the only one that came up. What's up with that, y'all? You can't tell me that none of you enjoys to watch a little bag get progressively bigger at it supresses assault after assault from within its own walls. If only some other things had as much protection from interior treachery. I'm not speaking of anything real, just something out of Sword of Shannara. The entire war with the Warlock Lord was almost lost because of one single solitary person's treachery, as well as his knowledge of the castle he was in. But granted, popcorn is MUCH more fasinating to watch when you hold one of those Jiffy Pops over an open flame than it is to watch a microwave do its thing.

I Am... Therefore I Think

Why not? How much fun would it be if everything that existed had coherent though processes? Would there be complete bedlam? Or un-parallelled peace? I will attempt to answer this age-old question that I have never heard asked.

Just for clarity and understanding, let us assume first that we only consider things that already exist, already have use of locomotion, and are by scientists standards "alive." i.e.: they respond to a stimuli. Second, that everything would have the same thinking matrix's that we humans share.

This said, the first priority of everything would be to have some sort of shelter. Most of us surface dwellers would invariably have to band together to build a space station to live on. Because the non-surface dwellers, (see: earthworm) would suddenly 'decide' that living under many hundreds of pounds of earth is unsafe as well as uncomfortable. They will therefore overrun the surface.

Second, water. Those previously non-surface dwellers will have taken over all the oceans. That would leave us space stationers waterless. What to do? Well, with all of the technological growths we would have undergone with our collective minds, we would be able to extract pure water from all the species' waste, as well as from using reverse-electrolysis on the atmosphere of Mars. (There would, of coarse, be no point in orbiting Earth if there was no hope of ever returning to it)

Third, food. Let's not even consider contemplating the Earth for this one. We (the humans) would at this point probably have been suppressed into the service of the other animals who outnumber us by a dizzying amount. We would be forced to farm on the surface of Mars (note that when I say surface, I mean of coarse that we would be under a protective dome). Food would be no problem once we got to Mars. Getting there would be the problem.

Or would it? Maybe the real problem would be that if all sentient beings had intelligence, they wouldn't think as we do. Therefore, we may never get off the surface of Earth, the earthworms may decide they like the way dirt feels, dogs could enjoy napping in purple thrones. But those cockroaches... if they decided to be hostile... well... just be glad that they don't have intelligence.

Or do they??? (don don don...)

Lousy Day

If I were manically depressive, yesterday's weather would have been an amazing outward view of the inner me. But I'm not, so that must have been someone else's self-image. I can try to describe what it was like, but that would be like me attempting to steal the Declaration of Independence of the United States of America while at the same time eating a grilled cheese sandwich. There are two problems with this. First, I hate cheese. Second, once it's grilled, that's just an additional wretched scent tossed upon the already poor taste. But, I'll try. The entire sky was white, with a slight gray tinge to it. One shade of this gray-white covered the entire sky like some bad description from a book of a blanket covering the planet. I could only tell where the sun was because there was a circle the size of the sun in the cloud that was a little less gray and a little brighter white. From the moment I woke up, at like 8 A.M., until the moment I fell asleep, somewhere around 11:30 P.M., the cloud gave off a dreary rain. Not a hard rain, just slightly more than a mist. Something that you don't mind at first, but eventually you can't help but feel as if it has always rained, and always will. There were periods, granted, where it would stop raining, but these were only 5 minutes long, and they were very far apart.

So I read. Last week, I finished The Sword of Shannara, by Terry Brooks. Which is a 730 page book that I have casually read on and off for a couple of weeks. Then I started, and finished, Douglas Adams' The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. You may have noticed the reference to it from my last post, with the mice. Just this weekend, I started Star Trek Voyager: The Nanotech War. Very interesting... It takes place after Tom and B'Elanna get married, in case you care. It's, well, if you're not familiar with the series, don't contemplate reading it. Anyway, I finished that yesterday, and started reading I, Q. Not yet sure what that's about.

And here I am, listening to another Motor City RIFFs podcast by 101.3 WRIF. It's almost sad that I have to listen to the podcast, just two months ago I was able to listen to the actual station. Oh well, we move on. I guess that summary of Xive will have to be postponed; I'm tapped out for pouring my life out for now.

Number One!

Since this is... (drum sounds with booming and echo-ing voice)... POST NUMBER ONE... (stop the voice and the drums, they get distracting after a while)... I'm not sure where to start, what to talk about, or where exactly I expect this to go. But I guess I could describe the title since that seems overly-apparently-needing to be done. I have discovered the meaning of life. And I'll disappoint hyper-intelligent mice everywhere right now when I say that it is NOT 42, despite what their computer told them. But I also believe that the meaning of life is different for every person, based upon many factors, most of which include how you view the world, what you enjoy, and what you feel like doing with yourself. I have no intention of getting "deep", unless someone asks me to, and I'll deal with that when/if it happens. So, basically, what I am going to tell you is my meaning of life, or, The Meaning of Life According to Alex. So without further ado, the meaning... of life.

In my most humble opinion, the meaning of life is humor. Or rather, the ability to give humor to those that are in poor spirits. Which is my... well... my mission. To spread my never-ending supply of humor to those around me. I guess this blog is meant to supplement my website, Xive. But on the other hand, after time and after I make this grow for a while, the website could conceivably be a supplement to this blog. Whatever, so long as you laugh.

Xive is currently under construction, so if you go there you will more than likely be disappointed... and not laugh. He he. But, eventually, I will have stories, pictures, movies, as well as... other things that I find humorous and I hope others will as well.

I can't really think of anything else to say, so I guess I'll just go work on my website. Adios, and enjoy yourself.

Just as an update... I did just that. I updated my website. I'll let you know how that's going tomorrow when I'm not so tired. Adios, again.